Andy Fraser :: Biography
As a very precocious 5 year old, I demanded of my mother that I have a piano! Eventually I had to make a deal with her, that if she got one, I would take piano lessons. Of course I didn't think I needed lessons, but I made the deal, and she found some old piano from the nearby pub for 5 pounds. I think she spent more on tuning the old thing than its cost, and I held up my part of the bargain, by having lessons with this seemingly very old lady with a huge nose, who didn't want to take me, feeling I was too young, and my hands couldn't stretch sufficiently.
Well, until I was 12 or so, I learned the scales, and played Beethoven and Mozart like a parrot, with all the passion of a typist. It all seemed like extra homework at the time, but I have since come to appreciate all the theory that was drilled into me, and the understanding of how all music, all chords, all keys are related, and once I reached the stage where I found music a means for expression, having all that experience behind me, made things a lot easier. I've worked with several great artists, who, without that basic foundation, have had a very tough time simply expressing themselves.
The piano, bad as it was, still took up a corner in the family house well into the FREE years, and songs like 'Heavy Load' etc. were all started on it. Not a bad investment!
By the time I was 12 or so, and hanging around with the kids at school also into music, and who wanted to form groups, I had switched to guitar somewhat. Although, they all wanted to be the singer, guitarist, or drummer. Definitely not the bass player! I was the "diplomat" and tuned my "Lucky Air-stream 3" guitar strings down an octave, and made everyone happy, with what I'm sure must have sounded terrible.
I nevertheless found all my piano tuition could be applied to the guitar, just as soon as I found the corresponding notes. By the age of maybe 13, I was traveling across London, sometimes catching the last bus home, sometimes missing it, scaring the life out of my mother, while playing with mainly West Indian musicians. I got some first hand experience with R&B, blues, ska and soul, from guys who were at least 10 years older than me. I remember playing all night clubs in the east end of London - everyone being black, me being white, and not even old enough to be in a place that served alcohol.
I was very influenced at the time by one "Binky Mackenzie", by all accounts rated to be the next jazz bass genius, who happened to be my elder sister's boyfriend. For quite a while, whenever he came over to our house, I would be sure to leave my bass lying around, so that when he picked it up and played, I could catch it from the next room, or wherever I was secreted to hear what he was doing. Binky was one very intense individual. Example. At some later point in time he decided he would consider what was mine was his, and would just take my amplifier from whose ever house I had left it at across town. A guitarist who I was working with, who was not only the same age as Binky, but a lot taller, notified him that he shouldn't be doing this. This was sufficient for Binky to threaten him in such a convincing way that the guitarist joined the merchant navy, and I never saw him again... probably the only reason he is still alive. Binky, who's intensity was being magnified by his increasing drug use, was stopped by 4 policemen, for reasons I never knew, but the long and short of it was he killed all 4 cops with his bare hands and was incarcerated for life. So much for his music career.
By the age of 15, I was being more and more influenced by the likes of the Beatles. This didn't sit well with the authorities at St. Clement Danes grammar school, where the rule was, if your hair showed below the school uniform cap, it was too long. I had several run-ins with them, but felt submitting to such a stupid rule would have violated my personal principals, and would be the first step towards having my spirit being broken and being turned into a "number", or a very compliant bank-clerk or something! So... I adamantly refused, and they expelled me, despite the fact I had excellent grades - something way more stupid than long hair in my mind. However, I very soon came to realize they had done me a favor. To placate my mother, I agreed to go to Hammersmith's College of Further Education, where I learned in no time how to roll a decent joint, and was very good at it I must say. It was at this college that I became very close to Sappho Korner, daughter of Alexis, and got to spend a lot of time over at their house, listening to his record collection and noodling around on his guitars. He became much more of a father to me than the one who had divorced my mother when I was 6 or 7 or so. In fact, I didn't have contact with my blood father until around my late teens when I wanted to meet him and see him through adult eyes. His main interest in me was suggesting I mortgage the house I had recently bought with FREE royalties, and give him the money. One very long sleepless night, when I had let him stay in another bedroom, I eventually woke him up and threw him out of the house. I have never seen such a big guy suddenly become so small. Still don't regret that decision to this day.
Alexis was very close to John Mayall, and I suppose most music industry people, and one day received a call from Mayall saying that he needed a bass player NOW. Well, Alexis told him this kid hangs around the house with his daughter, sounds pretty good on the guitar, and says he's a bass-player, and Alexis was betting it was true. So it was set up that I go around and audition for Mayall on Saturday - got the job, and by Monday, I had a new bass, decent stereo system, and gig itinerary which put us in Europe within a few days. So what with having to quit college immediately, smooth things over with my mother, I certainly had my hands full for a 15 year old.
It was a great experience. I never questioned anybody's greater experience or talent - I just had so much to learn from people who were way older than me... The only person close to my age was Micky Taylor, who was 18 at the time, and an incredible guitarist even then, and the only one I could sneak off with behind the building for a quick toke - everyone else being 'tea-totalers'. John Mayall would have been horrified, although Alexis thought I rolled a pretty good joint. Of course Mick Taylor went on to do great things with the Stones, and I'm sure I was just not in the same league as Keith Richards, when it comes to showing Mick Taylor how to get 'whacked'.
I still hadn't turned 16 before I had been replaced in the Blues Breakers, and been put in touch with Paul Kossoff, who along with Simon and Paul Rodgers were searching for a bass-player - without success. I was very impressed with Kossoff's playing when he came over to my mother's house, and I would say we were all inspired when we got together for a jam above the Nags Head pub. It may have been tougher for them, because they knew I was "the" bass-player, but from the start my precociousness had me saying "OK I'm the leader" and they had to humor me I guess, because one aspect came with the other. It was actually Alexis's birthday, and he showed up later, and was as excited as we were. He became very instrumental in getting us with his manager, (then getting us away when the manager did a lousy job), and then getting us with Chris Blackwell, and Island records. He also took us along as the opening act for a lot of his gigs. Enough can't be said about his support.
I consider my days days with FREE such an important stage in my growth as a person and musician. Being that age, it was where I formulated my sense of integrity, cemented views on the world at large, and felt for the first time within a "family". We were brothers - like a gang, or team of commando's where we could be sure we were all watching each others back. I still live by the values formulated at that time.
Koss was actually an incredible comedian. I think he could have had his own TV series. One of my favorite characters he used to do was in his nearly floor-length coat - transform himself into this old lady who could have come straight out of "Coronation Street" - a very long-running British TV series, and proceed to comment on the world at large, or you in particular if need-be, from the perspective of this old lady character. Guaranteed to have us all in stitches. Another moment I remember, was driving home from some gig late at night as usual, Paul Rodgers was in the front seat ranting on at Koss about something in his tough guy persona, and Koss, cool as a cue, rummaging through his bag for a little mirror, turning on the overhead light and just putting the mirror up to Rodgers face, so he could see himself, and of course had to burst out laughing. I miss him a lot.
His death was a very painful experience. It was expected - just a question of when. He had embarked on this course of self-destruction, slow suicide I guess. He had lost his confidence, and I feel wanted people to see him as 'great', just wasted on drugs, (like his heros, Hendrix etc.) and would sound good, if it wasn't for the drugs. Deep down, I think he was feeling insecure about the adulation poured on him, and drugs were his excuse for not being able to meet those expectations.
To add to this painful experience, I received a note from his father David Kossoff, blaming me for his death!? To this day, I don't know if the others got a similar note, or if I was singled out for some reason. It would interesting to find out. I didn't know D. Kossoff even knew my name, so I never really understood it. But I figured he was in pain. I imagine there can be no greater pain than having one's child die before you, and he must have been hurting. I didn't go to the funeral. I wasn't invited, and besides the purpose is to comfort the bereaved, and he apparently would find no comfort in my presence, so best to stay away. It hurt not being felt as part of Koss's family.
During one of the bands many split-ups, I and Jim MacGuire, one of our roadies, and the most mellow beautiful guy one could hope to meet, went round to Koss's place, the 'Mews house', which was filled with what seemed like 400 people, completely wasted out of their minds, lying all over the floor - every inch of the place, and found Koss upstairs, barely conscious. We basically kidnapped him, took him to my place which was an hour out of London, spent 3 days, talking, shaking him, trying to reach him in any way we could. After 3 days we just gave up, reconciling ourselves to the fact that one can only pull out of that kind of condition, if one wanted to. He didn't - we took him back. And the bunch of waster's probably didn't even know he had been gone. It felt hopeless. I must add, I am reminded of the chicken or the egg question. Did the band come apart because of Koss, or did Koss come apart because of the friction in the band - mainly between Rodgers and myself, and felt hopelessly stuck in the middle? I don't have the answer.
A note regarding Jim Macguire. While touring the states, while we would fly to the next gig, the roadies would break down the equipment after each show, load it into a rented U-haul truck, and start driving for the next gig, taking turns to sleep in the space above the drivers cab. In one of those trucks, there was a carbon-monoxide leak, and Jim was found dead before the next city. We were told just before going on stage, and did the whole show in a kind of state of frozen suspended animation. It hit us very hard. Jim had stayed with me through all the up and downs, split-ups, other groups, and even lived at my house in Surrey. Very difficult.
One of the first projects I tried was "Toby" - a nickname bestowed upon me by Graham Whyte, our chief roadie, probably to make me a little more manageable!!! It was a good experience for me to find out what is involved in being a singer, and although a lot of maturing was needed, the only way to get my feet wet was just jump in! Notable for the involvement of a very young, inexperienced but naturally talented guitarist, Adrian Fisher, who went on to do great things with Sparks. I just googled his name to find out he died 2000, 31st March - possibly drug related. We must all be thankful for each day.
Free reformed for a while. The primary reason I believe for all of us, was the hope that it would be what would pull Koss out of his downward slide. Secondly, the projects "Peace" and "Toby" weren't going anywhere! But it didn't work. The album 'Free at Last" was grueling to make, and there were times when Koss would be out in the studio to put on his part, and just fall asleep over the guitar. I remember doing a show at the Royal Albert hall, where it seemed like he was 5 minutes behind everyone else. It was like the whole audience was crying for us. So painful. That very day, I had started "Little bit of love", and played it in the dressing room for the others before the show, and it seemed such an upper - and then the downer.
We did a tour of the states, and had every indication Koss was going to be up for it. Before the first gig, as we were collecting everyone together to go play the Palladium in Los Angeles, we couldn't get any response from Koss's room. We eventually had to get the hotel to break down his bathroom door, to find him totally out of it. He was rushed to a hospital, and the 3 of us did somewhat of a gig with me mainly on keyboard and bass pedals, and P.R. on acoustic guitar - we had to do something for the audience that was already there. It was not a good omen. We cancelled the next weeks worth of shows, got Koss somewhat together, and resumed the tour. But things were not looking good. Not only was Koss basically not there, but with the band chemistry knocked out of whack, it had the rest of us acting abnormally, and I guess it ended up "every man for himself"... survival mode??? It wasn't too long before I had to resign myself to the reality of the situation, and say "gotta move on". A terrible thing to feel about that which you love most.
Next was the trio known as 'The Andy Fraser Band" (wot an inspired name), Along with Nick Judd, a truly talented and soulful keyboard player, was noteworthy for it's drummer, Kim Turner, having no previous professional experience at all, but a great natural ability, who later went on to co-manage The Police and Sting very successfully, and coming full circle, end up managing me through the "Fine Fine Line" period. An infectious, positive, motivating spirit, and so generous in many ways. His recent losing battle with cancer, is a great loss to all who knew and loved him.
I next did an album at Muscle Shoals, with that band whom I had worshipped since I was in school. Looking back, I don't think I was experienced enough, or had the confidence yet to meet that kind of situation. It was a "make an album in one week" type thing. Five days to lay down ten tracks - two a day, one day to do 10 vocals, and a day to mix. Finish. It would have taken one of the greats they were used to recording with to accomplish, and I had a lot more learning to do.
My mother also died around this time. I had fulfilled her dream of owning her own house, by getting her a little place near London, and her first car I believe. Very shortly after she moved in I called by to find her suffering the most terrible headache. Within a month a brain tumor had taken her.
During this tumultuous period, with direction unclear, I allowed myself to be engulfed in what became "The Sharks". Before I knew it I was answering press questions as to why I had formed this band etc. and (my own fault really) it was more "...huh? ...who?" and suddenly realized that I had to take more responsibility and not get sucked up into something that I really had little part in. Snips and I were just not on the same page, and it was best that I move on. Nevertheless, working with Chris Spedding, always a highly thought of guitarist, who went on to prove his worth with Paul MacCartney's Wings, was a very positive aspect for me.
It was on the way home from a tour in Europe with The Sharks, that I met Ri, (renamed 'cos Henrietta was too long for me), traveling by herself around the world, a very free spirit, and asked if she wanted to come back for a while - she did, and didn't leave before we ended up Mr. and Mrs. Fraser with 2 beautiful daughters, Hannah and Jasmine.
It was very much two artists in love. She is a very accomplished visual artist, (whose 'eye' the girls would inherit), and we would spend our days, me noodling around in the studio and her noodling around with pad or paints, and it was genuinely very creative and stimulating for us both. I was gaining confidence vocally, and starting to formulate where to go next. My instincts were to find another "family" vibe situation, and while having created strong relationships with people like Robert Palmer, and Frankie Miller, (who was our Best Man at the wedding), it now seemed more likely I would need to become more of a complete individual, capable of standing alone. I had previously operated under the assumption, "what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine, we are one, and together we can conquer the world". That was fine until the brotherhood bond was broken, and the band was operating as individuals.
With all the people dying around me, the English rain, and the whacking I was getting from the UK tax authorities, decided a fresh start in California would be nice.
It turned out to be more of a change than expected. I went ahead to find a place, and Ri was to join later after getting rid of the place in England. In between, she had been swept away with Eastern transcendental philosophies, and I had had my first gay experience - something I had been in complete self denial about all my life. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind it was there, but completely repressed for all the social reasons we are familiar with. I had never allowed myself to go there, and had been frenetically working since my early teens. So, suddenly, we nearly didn't know each other. Ri would soon spend a lot of time in India, and it would be many years before I came to acceptance with the gay issue.
One of my first projects in U.S. was with a band projected to be called "The Stealers". Although ultimately deciding against releasing it, I liked many of the songs, among them "Every kinda people", which wisely, Robert Palmer saw as a hit, and went on to prove it. One of the first things that struck me about the States, was there was no "band" vibe, which I had been brought up with. Most musicians wanted to know "how much am I getting paid for this rehearsal?". Very difficult, and ultimately something that strengthend me enough to be able to stand alone. Actually, I could have worked again with Paul and Simon, if the band vibe was there - it wasn't, and was never going to be. The best that could be hoped for was to be rich and famous, with all the superficial trappings of success, but feeling very empty, artistically dead inside, going 'round doing what you're famous for. I couldn't live like that.
I started spending my time writing and growing, and was very fortunate in having artists like, Joe Cocker, Frankie Miller, Robert Palmer, Chaka Khan, Ted Nugent, Wilson Pickett, Lulu, Paul Young, Three-dog night, Paul Carrack, Rod Stewart, Randy Crawford, Bob Seger, Joan Jett, and Michael J. Fox, Etta James, and other incredible talents, encourage me by covering some of the material.
The next major band project for me was the "Fine, fine line" album. Largely encouraged by Kim Turner, previously mentioned, the project was quite the learning curve, because for the first time making videos was part of the process. Most outside people don't give a second thought to the reality of that process, but throwing someone that is basically a musician into the 'acting' arena isn't exactly a natural thing. During the making of a video, one's musical abilities count for nothing - it's how one interacts with the camera that suddenly becomes important. And I would say that today, many successes are borne out of that ability, rather than musical skills. Nevertheless, 'Fine, fine line' was a great experience for me, because 1. Bob Marlette is an incredible musician, but man, "Bob, are you an asshole!" and 2. working with Michael Thompson on guitar was something else. He has gone on to work with such incredible artists as Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Luther Vandross, Michael Bolten, Phil Collins - just the top tier of singers. People I am, and will always be in complete awe over. And very deservedly so, Michael.
It was around this period that I had to start coming to terms with the gay issue. It couldn't be compartmentalized any longer in some back recess of my mind. Fundamentally, I am a very open, up-front person, and hiding this did not fit in the picture. After years of self-denial, I thought then "well, I'll just change" - finding out that is NOT POSSIBLE, had thoughts of suicide - very serious... Meticulous person that I am, I planned out every step. Starting with the book by that NBC reporter, forget her name, who helped her very sick mother die, by getting the combination of medical prescriptions from different doctors. You tell one, you have this problem, another that problem, and collect the required combination to do the job, quite painlessly. I had got all my affairs in order, and tried to make it as tidy and easy as possible for family and everyone afterwards, until in my mind the event had already happened, and I thought, "what the bloody hell did that solve? - nothing", so finally I had to come around to acceptance. Stop asking the question "why?" - not even our top scientists seem to be able to answer that yet, and start asking "how can I make my contribution, despite my particular hurdles". And not that particular either - 10% of the world is gay, and always has been - probably always will be, and there ain't no-one without their own hurdles. All the bigoted, self-righteous, bible-beating nonsense I had bought into would have to be put aside. It felt like living a lie, and inconsistent with my values and integrity.
The initial mountain which I couldn't see past, was, not only coming out, but doing it on a world stage. It just seemed insurmountable. I suppose whether it's a world stage, or the little office you work in, it is just as big for the individual. It's one's whole life and career that feels threatened. I feel most fortunate in that I could afford to let it go - you couldn't take it away from me. Most don't have that option. That in itself has been a blessing. One can't move on to the future, or even live completely in the present, if one doesn't let go of the past. But in truth it has taken me some 15 years to find the nerve to say "fuck you everybody... I'm not hiding anymore!" This album is I suppose a "coming out" - an expression of the journey from there to here.
During this period I dealt with crippling pain. I had major neck-surgery, which didn't take care of it, and every day for about 3 years I had to find a new reason not to off myself, until it was properly diagnosed... Kaposi's Sarcoma (cancer).. which I beat back 29 times, and then found out I had gotten AIDS along the way. All of this, and taking responsibility for my own lack of vigilance, have all strengthened me, and made me fully aware there is no more time to waste.
Now working with my daughters, Hannah and Jasmine - they both conceived and directed the video, Hannah photographed and put together the CD package, and Jasmine the website, is the most satisfying feeling ever. We have the most open relationship - a miracle when you consider what the family has been through. Even my relationship with Ri is still a loving one, as you can see from her involvement in the video shoot, (cafe scenes). I feel now I have the family vibe I always looked for in a band - something really special. Only the best things are done in love.
Check out the artist's website:
http://www.andyfraser.comTrack List:
1. Healing Hands
2. Yours Faithfully
3. Stand Ready
4. Too far to turn back now
5. Don't leave
6. All I want is you
7. Jungle
8. Hands of time
9. Deliverance
10. Someone watching over me
11. Family
12. The Night
13. Standing at your window
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